i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
