My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
