How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize