white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
