Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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