just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
