GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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