Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
