My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i need to put some appletini on your dick
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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