I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize