weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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