If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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