Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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