so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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