the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
