It's just like the Real World with babies
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
