She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize