And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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