I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
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