capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
