the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
