No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
