operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
