we have pet lesbian snakes
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
