Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
