Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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