His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just high enough for therapy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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