Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
