I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
