They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize