I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
