I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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