"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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