is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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