Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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