yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
