I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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