New invention idea: vibrating tampons
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
