I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize