Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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