Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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