Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
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