If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
