All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
