Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
