but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
