My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
