school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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