you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
