I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize