i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
