ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
