Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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