it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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