i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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