he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
