Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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