well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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