i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
